In some articles, loving yourself is often about self-acceptance, healthy lifestyles, putting yourself first and so on.
All those advices are good and not wrong. But when it comes to sex, how do you love yourself? How do you love your body?
Let’s think about it. If you want someone to treat your body nicely, in the way you like it, you’ll first need to know what your body likes. How do you do that? Of course, you need to start by touching your own body first.
Do not expect somebody else to know how to touch your body if you don’t even know much about your own body.
So, how do we do this?
Step 1: Get Naked
Be comfortable with your naked body. Look at your body in the mirror. Be proud of every inch of your body. Look at all the stretch marks, the scars and the different skin tone on your body. Appreciate it. Embrace it. You might notice something that you’ve never knew was there the whole time – like discovering a mole near your butt!
Step 2: Touch your body
Now here comes the fun part. Touch every inch of your body. Feel your body to know which areas are more sensitive to touch. Feel the areas where you like to be touched or don’t like to be touched. You will only know all these feelings and sensations after you’ve explored touching your entire body.
Then you could convey this information to your partner to ensure that they touch all the right spots.
Step 3: Time for your vulva
I know you have looked at your naked body, touched your naked body but have you looked at your “pussy” or the more proper term, your vulva?
If you have not, now is the time to take a good look at it. Put a mirror between your legs and make sure you can see the reflection of your vulva.
If not, time to look at it. Put a mirror between your legs and make sure you can see your vulva.
I would like you to examine it. Can you see your clitoris, your vagina hole, your pubic hair, and anything else that you can notice about your vulva? Maybe the colour is different from what you’ve seen on Google. Maybe the shape is different?
It’s interesting right? Every vulva is different in size, colour and shape. It is all normal unless you are experiencing pain or discomfort with it. To see more different types of vulva, click here.
Now, I would like you to touch your vulva. Massage the surrounding zones. Experience the sensations that you enjoy when you touch your vulva. This will make it easier for you to tell your partner where and how to touch you down there. It provides some awareness about your own body and what to expect when people touch your vulva whether for sex or medical examination.
These 3 steps will help you get more comfortable with your body and help you love your body more. It certainly will be useful when you plan to have sex with your partner. You will be more attuned to your body and more relaxed around your partner, which is very important for a healthy sex life.
Additionally, it is particularly a good practice for you if you have vaginismus.
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You may also consult our Sexologist & Women’s Health Physiotherapist for a Free Consultation.
Sexologist at Vibrance Pelvic Care Centre
The Vulva Gallery. Retrieved from https://www.thevulvagallery.com/
Lopsided Vagina: Are My Labia Normal? Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/lopsided-vagina#size